You’ve probably heard the best way to fight infidelity – or get past it – is to improve marriage. And you know, it’s true.
The better the marriage is, and the happier the two of you are with each other, the less likely your spouse is to look elsewhere for emotional or sexual fulfillment. Working to strengthen your relationship is a positive, effective way to keep those niggling thoughts of other people from sneaking into your heads.
So, how do you improve marriage? We could make a list of 100 important things that couples, especially those recovering from infidelity, should try. But here are a few to get you started.
Communicate
Friendship is the foundation of marriage, and like any friends, you should have lots of casual conversation. Simple stuff, like why you like a certain band, or what story you saw on CNN, or who at work has B.O. Sure, it’s superficial, but it’s also the way you learn about each other and what gets you interacting and laughing together.
Your marriage is a partnership, and it’s crucial that partners share information. You know, those mundane, yet necessary little details of daily living like when the electric bill’s due, which kid needs to go the dentist, what kind of noise the car is making. You’d be surprised – or maybe not – how many fights start because information wasn’t shared.
You can’t help make each other happy if you don’t know what each other’s feeling, so you need honest, emotional communication. Hints don’t cut it. This is when you come out and say, “Honey, I wish you wouldn’t go out with your friends tonight; I’ve been missing you,” or, “I made a big mistake at work today; now I’m feeling like a loser.” It’s tough because it leaves you vulnerable. But that’s how you improve marriage – by offering support when your spouse is vulnerable and seeking it when you are.
Get physical
Physical intimacy isn’t just important – you can’t improve marriage without it. I know it’s difficult to feel comfortable having sex when the marriage has been troubled, especially if you’re still hurting over your spouse cheating. You don’t have to jump into bed right away.
You’ve heard that saying, “a picture is worth a thousand words,” right? Well, the way you touch your spouse’s arm, or the way you kiss each other can say more about the way you feel than 10,000 words. Starting small works just fine.
And when you do feel ready to make love again, put as much passion into it as you can. Remember that sex isn’t only a means of communicating your feelings for one another – it’s also supposed to be a whole lot of fun for both of you.
Hang out
Another important way to improve marriage is to spend time together. You can’t build your relationship if you’re never in the same place at the same time.
Sharing experiences – like going to a movie, taking a road trip, or sitting on a park bench and laughing at the strange people going by – serves to deepen and strengthen the bond between you. When you build common memories, you’re actually imprinting yourselves in each other’s brains.
And, the more time you spend together, the more you get to see those traits that attracted you to one another in the first place. You’ll constantly see little reminders of why you fell in love. That’ll go a long way toward re-establishing that important affection and passion.
So there you are, three simple, but effective things you can try to improve marriage.
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